10. The wildly colorful, neon, skin-tight running shirt you are
wearing is for some ultra-frum charity in Brooklyn
9. No one can pronounce your name despite the fact that it's written
on your shirt. (name: Shmuely = "Go Shmucky!")
8. Contemplating whether or not to say Asher Yatzer after peeing off
the Verazano Bridge
7. Physically you felt a hell of a lot worse at Neliah on Yom Kippur
6. You realize the term "Anu Ratzim, vHaim Ratzim" suddenly refers to
the same finish line
5. You expect 5 minutes off your time due to required
hugs/kisses/photos with your mother (immediately tagged to facebook
with the byline "Now if he could only get married!!)
4. You awkwardly try to let on to any girl wearing a running-skirt
that you are Jewish: "Hey, um, is this running-goo pareve?"
3. Immediately consider conversion once you realize that the only
place throughout the entire 26 mile NYC run that has no fans or
cheering is Chasidic Williamsburg
2. You haven't shvitzed this much since your cousin's wedding in
Monsey when the AC went out
1. You know why 26 is the gematria of God's name - because at that
mile, you've never thanked God so much in your life
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